Quotes On: Humor

My style is bad white-boy dancing. I can do swing a little bit, but nothing beyond that.

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

The idea of having a steady job is appealing.

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.

Cricket is basically baseball on Valium.

Death is nature's way of saying, Your table is ready.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person; they've got nothing to lose.

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.

If it's the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number?

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green bean.

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, Can I use a lifeline?